When I woke up this morning without warning or any reason, anxiety was to the extreme. In my previous post I mentioned how I never forget my medications but just in case, Ace is here to help me with that right? Well, since that hasn’t been a problem for me before I haven’t exactly started him with that task yet. Yesterday I forgot to take my Synthroid, which is my life-long synthetic hormone. I would actually die without the drug since I no longer have a thyroid gland. Not too excited about knowing the fact that I could die within a short amount of time, less than a month without a pill. Guess I better prepare for an apocalypse, right? EXACTLY
That is exactly my obsession this morning. I’m moving soon and know that I must live within a certain vicinity to as many pharmacies as possible. Why? Because that is the first place I am going. Next stop? Hmmm…Abbivie (the pharmaceutical manufacturer of this drug) is located not far from Chicago….so that’s where I would head next after doomsday event. I plan on surviving. The majority of the population would want to head to the CDC in Atlanta, not sure why…who would honestly trust the government? Nope not me. Besides, the CDC has a surrounding barrier wall that will rise up from the ground in the event of a catastrophe. I have no idea how thick or tall said wall is but I do know that it exists and know that outsiders will not be able to get in very easily so why waste precious time? These are the kinds of things thoughts that were racing through my mind. My thoughts didn’t stop there… I even went as far as looking into doomsday facilities, you know those bunkers that “crazy rich people” buy right? I honestly don’t think the idea is crazy at all. My entire family does but I bet your ass they’d be trying to get to me if something happened. My school workload leaves no room for my anxiety antics right now so I had a choice to make:
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Continue down this path and obsess over an apocalypse and how to acquire the life sustaining drug.
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Do something about my anxiety.
I chose number two, but it wasn’t without my buddy Ace. He is trained to help me out with this and he worked diligently today with to achieve said task. However, I think more than helping me out of that state of mind, he helped me realize the state of mind I was in at the time. Similar to an out of body moment, weird to describe but that’s how it felt. For the first time I tried a technique I learned in therapy. Counting. The logic is that by doing so you interrupt your thought process. This apparently works for presenting in front of crowds, job interviews, and the likes.
Guess what? It works for when you are freaking out thinking how your life depends on a drug and what you would do in the event of a devastating event …. apocalypse. I’m rather proud of myself. Usually it would take me hours, sometimes all day to calm down with music. I guess music doesn’t work all that well now that I am typing this…I’m going to reward myself with chocolate cake.
Have you ever tried the counting method? Did it work? Do you take a life sustaining drug and if so, how does that make you feel?
P.S. I still want a doomsday property. I just got an idea, if I bought a doomsday property and lived in it now ….I could hide from everyone.
The Bipolar Architect 
I haven’t tried the counting method, but perhaps next time I have an attack I will. I’m not on life sustaining drugs per se, but I kind of think that my all the meds I take keep me alive in some form or fashion (thyroid, bipolar, and fibro stuff). But I know what you are getting at. Glad you have your little buddy there to help you out.
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Let me know how it goes when you try it? I forgot to use it in some other situations this week…I hope that it works just as well when I use it again. The key here is to remember to actually do it, which is very hard for my anxious bipolar mind. Hope you’re doing well?
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I’ve tried the counting method. I would lay in bed unable to sleep and count from 1 – 100 for hours. Let’s just say it didn’t work for me.
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